But now we’ll never know…

http://www.pinkisthenewblog.com/2009/04/lindsay-lohan-samantha-ronson-are-dunzo/

US Magazine:

Samantha Ronson’s mother and sister asked Beverly Hills police how they could obtain a restraining order three days after Lindsay Lohan was banned from a Ronson family event.

E! News:

Lindsay Lohan exclusively tells E! News that reports of her breakup with Samantha Ronson are true: “We are taking a brief break so I can focus on myself.”

(Tomato, tomahto.)

:(

Digital Spy reports:

Lindsay Lohan has revealed that she regrets writing online about her relationship with Samantha Ronson.

The actress has frequently used social networking sites to quash rumours of romance trouble in recent months.

Lohan has now claimed that her attempts to set the record straight backfired – because they simply fuelled the press interest in her love life.

Speaking to Nylon magazine, she explained: “I think I just got carried away. Like writing about my relationships. I didn’t need to do that, because we weren’t broken up and that was silly.”

[Yoinked from AE.]  I know I’m a little late on this one, but it totes needs to be posted here.

how i adore the huffington post! 
with love, from Ariana’s homeslice Chris Kelly (and a tip from Virb!):

Lohanomics

When Mother Teresa died she owned the clothes on her back, a rosary and a bucket. The day she died, like every other day, she started off with the Prayer of St. Francis, the one that asks, “Oh Master grant that I may never seek so much to be consoled as to console.” I know what you’re thinking: Showoff.

But she wasn’t all bad. There’s something to wanting to give more than you receive. I’m not a glory hound like some nuns, but I try to live my life in the same spirit. That’s why I was so happy to open this morning’s Wall Street Journal and read:

WASHINGTON — Government officials seeking to revamp the U.S. financial bailout have discussed spending another $1 trillion to $2 trillion to help restore banks to health, according to people familiar with the matter.

Hallelujah!

We’ll be down to our clothes, rosaries and buckets in no time!

But not so fast. Just when I thought I’d found my calling — restoring the banks to health — I saw that Lindsay Lohan’s father had updated his blog, and it read:

PLEASE HELP!!! I am asking everyone out their (sic) to intervene in every way possible to help Lindsay, and quite possibly, save her life… Help her to see that ever since SaMANtha came into her life, nothing good has come of it. As a matter of fact, Lindsay hasn’t used her gifts like she did before meeting SaMANtha. Just LOOK! The proof is there! These aren’t just words, but FACTS! PLEASE HELP!I know God would never give me more than I can handle, but how can I help Michael Lohan break up his daughter’s lesbian relationships and recapitalize Citibank? I don’t want to make light of a father’s love for a child, or a nation’s love for its bankers, but suddenly I’m feeling not just torn but a little tapped out.

 

It’s like when the Joker tells Batman he can save either Rachel or Harvey Dent. I think. I’m still not exactly clear on what happened there.

Save Lindsay or Wall Street or neither or both? Let’s see.

Totally charming in Mean Girls?
Lindsay Lohan: Yes
AIG: No

Already received billions in aid?
Lindsay Lohan: No
AIG: Yes

Chance that a new handout will just get blown on Grey Goose?
Lindsay Lohan: Yes
AIG: Yes

Would piss on you if you were on fire?
AIG: No
Lindsay Lohan: It depends. Does she need to go anyway? How much Grey Goose has she had?

I think St. Francis would call this a pick’em.

Here’s why this isn’t a fair comparison. Lindsay Lohan was pretty good in Freaky Friday. Also, Michael Lohan won’t tell us exactly how it is he wants us to help him, whereas Wall Street has made its needs perfectly clear:

Give us all your money.

Michael Lohan and our wards in the financial sector are equally opaque about what they’ll do with our help/cash. The banks didn’t exactly start making loans again, after we gave them those other billions, to make loans. Michael Lohan won’t say what he’ll do to Lindsay with our help, but he clearly knows the value of a dollar, since his blog has ads on it. So probably the best thing to do is just give them whatever they want and hope for the best. They are the experts.

Before he went to prison for criminal contempt related to securities trading, Michael Lohan worked on Wall Street.

From her latest anti-breakup-rumors blog post:

head games- that’s what the tabloids and pap’s play with everyone ….

Currently listening:
Head Games
By Foreigner

the joys of subscribing to lilo’s myspace on google reader:

…we did NOT break up!

access hollywood, extra, et, every tabloid, page six… AND every GOSSIP website. Get your stories straight please. It’s really annoying to have all of your friends emailing you saying, i saw, i read, etc… NOT TRUE

:) xoxox Lindsay

glad we got that cleared up!

So I was thinking new Kanye = M83, but here is S.Ro’s take on the issue:

yup, i don’t think I can recall any other song recorded by a hip hop artist that has broken my heart the way joni mitchell, damien rice or nick drake can. I know I am placing him in strange company, but that’s where ["Street Lights"] falls in my ipod playlist.

Now rappers can become legendary folk singer/songwriters without that pesky singing part.  God bless the vocorder!

"Uh no, that wouldn't be REAL. Just gimme some extensions."

Regarding the breakup rumors:

all in all-they should just stop asking altogether, once and for all if she and i are broken up because frankly, if we ever ever did….

(But they won’t !!!)

i would say it before they could even think of asking. i’d say it here probably… i say everything here on myspace.  okay. well, i hope that all the gossip magazines and sites, and lurkers read this cuz it’s not true.

I’d put us in the “lurkers” category.

i love myspace because i can just write, and i love writing, and i can prove all the liars wrong [...] i can use myspace and just let everyone know what’s really going on. which is so much more fun! cuz now, people can get to know the REAL me. yay!

The REAL Lindsay, yay!  Thanks to myspace, a celebrity = my personal friend.  <3333

"In London with my girl"

From “Upset with Facebook“:

here i am loving facebook (as well as myspace-hehe) but going on facebook to talk to some of my friends and they are thinking that I AM THE “FAKE” OF MYSELF!!! hahahahahaha.. at first i laughed, and then i got angry. angry because, with ALL the people that PRETEND to be me on facebook, they decide to say I AM THE FAKE- of myself.

Wow, that’s so… metaphysical.  And she didn’t even to go college (or real high school).

From “oy vey! rumors..“:

just to clear this up.. because i have been getting a lot of emails asking me this one question.  samantha ronson and lindsay lohan (me) are NOT breaking up :)

Phew!  This blog will live to see another day.

my first thought was, where’s sam?!??

but then i realized, the gif is not a citizen of the good ole’ us of a.
oh, and re: are they or arent they [broken up], im remaining optimistic.

abs thrilled about obama, but lots of awful stuff still happenening for us gaymos. what ever happened to preaching tolerance and respect? all those so completley american values???

….crossing my fingers that l.ron. makes it through it all.